Topping from the bottom is NOT fulfiling
As most of you reading this no doubt know I’m at my “happiest” (well, sexually at least) when I’m on the submissive end of things.
Nothing quite “gets me going” as hearing the word “footboy”, and other such terms in a mutually agreed upon “lifestyle” (or close to it) femdom relationship – this of course assuming the lady is equally “into it”.
What I’ve seen happen a lot of times is that so called “lifestyle” relationships usually end up as the guy “topping from the bottom” – which is the complete antithesis of what a “real” lifestyle femdom relationship should be like.
And I say “should be like” because it’s true. While “topping from the bottom”might sound like fun – believe me, it’s temporary fun – and it’s FAR LESS fulfilling than the real deal.
I should know – I’ve been guilty (albeit unwittingly so) of this a few times myself, and each time the overbearing sensation was one of not being fulfilled and “something missing”.
Of course, the “real deal” assumes both parties to be equally into it – so if the guy is “really” not into having sex, for instance, and perfectly happy being “locked up” (or whatever the deal might be) and servicing the lady orally – well, then, the right partner for him would be a lady who is REALLY not into having actual sex with him – a lady that’s “more into” dominating the male, in other words as opposed to actual “sex” (except when on her own terms).
Of course, that is a very broad generalization – I am NOT saying that is “set in stone” or should be set in stone for any sort of lifestyle femdom relationship.
What I AM saying though is both parties need to be on exactly the same wavelength – or vibration – or it just ain’t gonna work.
And how do I know this? Well, personal experience again, my friend – been there, done that – and I’m well qualified to tell you this in that regard.
And that’s the reason I write about VIBES all the time in my books. All down to vibes.
As for “topping from the bottom” – well – it’s far better to SWITCH than do so in my opinion (if you can).
99% of my BDSM experiences have been as a submissive – or bottom – or “servant” – insert term of choice, and activity of choice, hehe.
HOWEVER, I’ve topped as well – and though I haven’t written much in that regard – it feels oh-so-delicious to switch every once in a while.
Believe it or not, some of the top Dominas in this field started out as “submissives”.
It takes two, my friend – and you can only really “Domme” to perfection (or as close to it as possible) if you’ve been there and done that – and FELT it – and being there, doing that, and FEELING it requires one to have experienced both ends of the spectrum.
And though I rarely, if ever switch, when I do so it feels completely natural.
It also makes the “switch back” to my “footboy” avatar all the more appealing and sexy – and that’s what this is all about at the end of the day – at least to me!
Appealing, sexy, and FUN – and that is how life should be – and why should fetish be any exception to that rule?
I’ll write more on this in future posts. For now though – it’s back to a thankfully sunny winter day in bonny Southern China … and ruminating over further projects!
P.S. – If you’ve got any ideas or stuff you’d like to see covered in future books – give me a shout via email@example.com.
P.S. #2 – And in case you’re like “Madam Lily” (I haven’t written on her as yet, hehe) who loves to put her feet up and read (probably more, but I haven’t asked as yet;))) – here are a few books for you to choose from –